The truth and nothing but the truth so help me god.

I dont know how to start this.. my last blog was 2 years ago.. so much death and dispair has happen in my life..
i watched my mother die. i lost the one i love so much. 
 jsut im numb now.
my ms has become worse. i got git by a car two weeks ago. and last week almost gettin hit again!  i havent beeen out sid emy house. i miss the gym.. no one is there to help me.. every one says im stronmg. but how can u be strong after
You ristser past away,
 two months later my mom past away, and i had to watch her die.
my step dad passes away and me and lily wa sleftout to know whats going on about anything.
im not strong no more.
i notice when i go out side
theres always someting out there to hurt me..
 i pray
i do my best to be a mother,
but gettin hit by that car and again almost getting hit..
i cant stand al this..
i jsut wanna sleep. 
i dont wanna die, just sleep untill every one and everything is done trying to take me down.
i have no family to turn to.
i have no one to reach out to.
i dont want to be a burden.
 but im here inside.
im not stuck
i just cant take no more in