Im shy

I have not had a crush in so long...
i been rejected b4,
it dont feel nice when they dont feel the same way.
but u will never know cuz, u dont have the gutts 2 admit it..

I wish we could do it old school n send him a note
I LIKE YOU, DO YOU LIKE ME 2?
CHECK (YES) (NO)..

his vib is so comforting and welcoming also
his voice, his eyes, his smile!...
and he has his mind rite.
he has this ....this......  I DONNO WAT IT IS CUZ I NEVER FELT LIKE THIS!

im a grown ass woman, shouldn't it be simple for  us?

It only gets harder,
i dont wanna creep him out, i dont want him to think any ill thoughts.

HOw would i be like " hey yo~! ya you! come here, i like you so i think maybe we
can kick it a lil more"

i say the most dumbiest shyt to when he is around me..
i know i shouldnt talk about a ex but dang i dotn try 2 n i hat e my ex so god damn much and im so god damn happy he is outta my life..


but i say dumb ish..........

i feel like a fool

my star

I smile every time she says mom or please or hugs me.
i love being a mother.
thought i was missing some thing i always wanted,
when she was rite there.
with her lil hand reaching out to me,
wanting my love my hugs kisses and to be right beside me..

she gave me the stability i been looking for, 
her naps and bed time with the books.
and signin twinkle twinkle little star..

Im going to become better a mother,
better then the mother i had..

I love you so much Sasha!

Lyfe is funnie..
u seem to be on top of the world,
n one person can ripp all of that away,
and there im left standing,
wondering why is he doing this to me?
i never cheated lied or had any head games.
i cooked,
i cleaned
i gave him good loving.
but i was not good enough to be just his love,
he wanted and did share what i thought was mine,

I broke it off,
was kinda hard..
I did learn that when some one tells you they love u right away,
its a sing to run like crazy!
 He took so much from me and did me wrong,
now bugging me to come back home..
 I just don't understand why is he doing this to me?
Stop beggin me back
why would i wanna hurt again? why would i wanna lose 
allot of my life, just for u to go and mess mine up..


i rather be alone,

I just want some one good to come and wrap there arms around me..

We day dream, to get out of our reality that we face every day.
just close your eyes, u can go any where do any thing be beside some one you never had tha nerv to tell dem you diggin dem,
I my self have some one who keeps me smiling every time im feeling down, i think of his smile, then i start to feel warm all around..
But here i rather sit on my own. knowin it ant worth goin threw dis alone. but strong enough to carry on and hold on to what i have. 
me my child and positive thinking and positive actions will only make positive reactions happen..
I suffer daily, in pain,

i make it threw, 
the look in my childs eyes when she looks at me and that there tells me to keep fighting and keep going on and being a good mom..
I dont know what a good mom is , i never had one. only seen them on tv,
it would just be nice to have some one who is 100% 4 me and like always i stay 100% 4 dem. 
I just want a family,
i knwo everything dont work otu how we like it but its worth trying i guess.
i been hurt lied to used chated on .. 
im still strong enough to know there is a good man out there who is 100% worth my time my cookin my clean home my takin care of the house while u do ur thang. 
I m lost in space.. day dreaming again i guess